Internet Rat Trap shopping till I drop

Rat Trap Internet Shopping

I like to internet shop. I hate drudging round shops unless its a camping or outdoor gear shop. I can then bore my husband to death pointing out some really naff “must have” gadget to make our camping lives so much better.

Today however was all about shopping for rat traps and rat removers. What a minefield. I now know how to psycho-analyse the little furry bar steward and get inside its devious little head to outsmart him (it surely must be a him – sorry guys) into getting into my traps. I will be wearing some fetching gloves so as not to transfer my “human” scent onto the means of their destruction and they will meekly submit to my wrath. Here’s hoping I get it right. Today I spent the grand total of over a hundred quid on rat traps, bait, and other little ratty things so I can rid myself of this rat problem I am having. Apparently rats send a taster rat into a strange place and get them to eat the bait. Then it is told, that this taster rat, lets call him Nobby, gets to huff his breath all over the other rats so they can smell the good stuff (assuming Nobby is not dead). Now the other rats seek out the same smell now that Nobby has done his ratty duty. The rats will how happily gobble up your bait. I think for this to work you have to bait your bait with more Nobby style bait so you don’t kill Nobby but you kill all the others. A bit of a flaw in the old logic there, but hey ho. I am thinking that as my rats (notice I am now claiming ownership) like the smell of chicken poop that I will smear it over the traps and job done. Nobby is now a dead rat if the theory pans out.

Normally as with internet shopping you get excited about your parcel arriving. I have to confess to being a little excited to received my new rat traps which probably makes me rather a saddo but a girls gotta get her excitement where she can. Especially as Uhtred son of Uhtred or Poldark is not likely to come calling around very soon.

Have I seen a rat – well no – or droppings – but I have seen a hole big enough for a rat. The bait is going missing so hopefully I have e-raticated some already. My carefully placed netting “doors” have all got more than one rat sized hole appearing nightly that my chickens are using as escape hatches, so I must have quite a problem.

Rat problem, drat and swearing

Rat problem, war is on the cards

Today I think I have a rat problem. In the chicken run, I noticed a hole, not a mouse hole but big enough for a rat to get its grungy little body though. Now I hate rats and I know that rats are a severe threat to my beloved chickens so I needed to attack. First of all, I armed myself with a trusty garden spade. Then I decided to find out how far had that rat needed to dig to get into the run in the first place. I dug and felt a real sense of evil pride that I was demolishing the tunnel that little fiend had dug. Que evil laughter here….. All the while being on high alert in case one popped its head out, and I needed to run, screaming girlie fashion, to the nearest high spot. I am that brave!! After inspecting the rat traps I noticed that they were empty of rat bait, so being a girl who excels at delegating, I got my man to glove up and fill all the mouse and rat traps up with poison. I am usually quite a caring person who respects all animals, but not the rat I am afraid. They spread disease and will show my hens no mercy at night when they are at their most vulnerable. Rats will also severely p*ss my neighbours off if they think that I am attracting them.

What should I do

Rats are vile creatures (in my humble opinion). They will contaminate my chickens feed and water and now they are munching holes in my netted segregation areas. Also more worryingly, rats are known to munch on chickens during the night. Ratty is not getting away with that especially as I have just cleared my bedroom of chickens and the house smells nice again.

Moral of the story

Remind yourself to keep on top of your inspections. This way you will quickly notice any strange holes or gnawing appearing and tackle them straight away.

Hopefully, I have done enough to protect my lovelies from becoming victim to the vicious teeth of these nasty beasts. I am most definitely on the case.